Finding Peace as a Single Christian Mother: Dealing with Sin, Responsibility, and Love
Separating the history and facts about your situation is the key to finding peace of mind. Please allow me to make several observations.
Making a Mistake Doesn’t Mean You Are Not a Caring Person
First, you are a sincere and caring person, and you are to be admired and commended.
However, as you acknowledge, you sinned in having a sexual relationship outside the covenant of marriage (Heb. 13:4). Your action was a transgression against God, against the man with whom you were involved, against yourself, your child, and your relatives in Christ. One must face the responsibility for his sins, and you have done so.
Learn To Accept His Pardon
If you have sought pardon according to the New Testament pattern (Acts 2:38 or 8:22—depending upon your circumstances), our loving Creator has forgiven you, and you must attempt to accept his pardon — though this may be hard to do at times.
Intellectually, we know that we are cleansed from our sins as children of God when we truly repent and seek his forgiveness. However, we sometimes have difficulty coping emotionally with the situation. We must strive to accept God at his word, be refreshed, and then rebuild our lives.
Accepting Responsibility
You are to be congratulated for not seeking an abortion after discovering that you were pregnant. So many women these days have accepted the irresponsible ideology of the feminist world — that a woman has the right to “choose.”
What is the choice? Choosing to murder the child within her body — who is not responsible for being there — is a travesty of epic proportions!
Spiritual people will praise you for not caving to the pressures of a godless society. I thank you for your high regard for human life’s sacredness.
Marriage Isn’t Always the Best Option
It was possibly good that you did not rush into a marriage to cover the mistake, which might have proved disastrous. Marriage is such a serious and permanent union, and it ought not to be entered except with the gravest and best of motives to glorify God.
Perhaps you will find a good Christian man who will love you and your child. If this is your desire, pray and work toward it.
Every youngster, ideally, needs both a mother and a father. This is the Creator’s plan for the most incredible human happiness and achievement. However, do not be impulsive. It may be better for your baby to have one dedicated, Christian parent than one good one and another that is not so good.
The Consequences of Sin
I must tenderly make this point — with no desire to wound your feelings. You brought a child into this world who most likely will be at a spiritual disadvantage.
If you choose not to marry, she will never know a daddy’s love. She will never be exposed to the qualities that a man uniquely can contribute to the home environment—traits that bring balance to the domestic sphere.
You will have the obligation to go the “second mile” to ensure that your daughter receives a rich spiritual education. You must be dedicated to the Lord with a passion that surpasses all others. This may be extremely difficult because you likely have to be a wage earner and an attentive mom.
But you owe your daughter all you have to give.
A Valuable Lesson for Your Daughter
As your little girl grows older, she will become aware of the nature of her conception. This will allow you to explain that you are a frail human being and that you once made a tragic mistake with a man — an error that did not please the Lord.
But you must, at the same time, assure her that doesn’t lessen your love for her in any way. Nor does it suggest that she is somehow illegitimate. There are no illegitimate children — only illegitimate relationships!
Build Up Your Daughter
Develop a strong sense of self-esteem within your daughter. All souls are worthwhile because they are creations of a loving God, are made in his very image, and because his Son died so that they might embrace eternal life — if they are disposed to accept his gift.
It Isn’t Wrong to Love a Baby!
Finally, let me emphasize that it is not wrong for you to love your baby with your whole heart.
She is a product of a divinely designed law of reproduction. She is not responsible for the circumstances of her conception. She is a precious human being with whom God has entrusted a soul.
Love her, be proud of her. She is a treasure for her worth.
May you find the peace for which your heart longs.